For the ones that know me… that really know me, I am a person that has anxiety pretty bad. It is a real kick the butt when you are trying to reach out to individuals for portraits. Trying to get past the shakes, the raised heart rates, and the sweaty palms is always a constant battle. Who ever has anxiety in the same aspect as me, knows the struggle. There are still some out there that are worse than me and I really feel pity on them. I don’t know how they function day to day but I am sure they are on great medication to help them get by.
So I one day I asked a someone that follows me on Instagram, his name is Demorris, (if you want to follow Demorris on Instagram check him out @509breakfastclub) if he would like to get some shots in. With a quick response, his answer was yes! I was stoked to say the least! I had it all set up in my mind… downtown Spokane and doing an urban shoot. Parking garage shots, alleys… middle of roads… just wandering around Spokane and trying to capture some of the great known and unknown locations of the city.
The day of the session, we met up at Rocket Bakery and Coffee on Wall St (a must if you want a nice chill relax environment) and after some chit chat, we went right outside we walked ten feet to the alley to do a few shots. As I was setting up and just carrying on with out chit chat from the coffee house, I find that my octobox modifier wasn’t working properly. The center rod came out along with the part that slides into place to lock the umbrella item to the rod. For a half hour I was looking like a monkey trying to F a football (yeah I am kinda keeping this blog post to a PG rating) working my hardest to fix it. Inside my head I was like “OMG… OMG… OMG!!!!!” Here I am trying to make a good first impression and was talking about how I am going to give Demorris some amazing shots, and here my gear is just falling apart! The kicker is, my gear was only two months old!!!
So after the half hour or just cursing under my breath and trying to get this octobox to open up and stay open, I gave up. I told him that I would just shoot natural light. Something that I hardly ever do!! Why do I hardly ever shoot natural light? When I use a strobe (flash) the colors will pop more! The eyes will sparkle!! The model will jump out and show dimension as a 3D object. I find that most natural light photographs the model just looks “flat.” We are three dimension individuals why not try and capture it? Anyways, Demorris was working the camera like a pro. Sometimes I had to say no because he would have some of his own poses that made him look like a clown. Sticking out his tongue, doing a back turn… pretty much acting like Zoolander. Then I realized this. It was his personality. I was capturing him! When the small chit chat was done in the coffee house, he released his nerves along with mine and I realized he is a natural joking individual but then Demorris had this GQ model releasing inside him!
I struggled with the natural light at first then worked out the bugs and just started having fun with Demorris. We joked, told dirty jokes, and just learned about one another. I made a new friend.
Even when I thought that I was having my world crashing around me, I was still able to work outside my comfort zone and do something that isn’t natural to me. The struggle was there at the start of our portrait session but by the end of the session, nearly 2 hours later, I was able to walk away with some images I enjoy but most of all, Demorris LOVED! It doesn’t matter about me liking them, it is about the CLIENT!
